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Adoption and Love – A Story By Ezinne Celine Arua

Adoption and love

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Adoption and Love – A Story By Ezinne Celine Arua

Adoption and Love - A Story By Ezinne Celine Arua

Adoption and love

You see, the concept of adoption is alien to me. I know of Motherless Babies Home, but adoption? Mba. The (systematic) process whereby a man and a women legally take-in a child that is not biologically theirs and begin to call the child their own. I know about taking relatives, or a child recommended by someone close. But that of processing documents to legally and officially become the child’s parent? No, its alien.

I only got to know of adoption through movies. It’s observable in those movies the rigorous process involved, the scrutiny of the Govt officials and the scepticism of the adopting parents.
Well, it’s understandable.

Taking a stranger into your home and your life is a huge decision. The adopting agency ensures the financial capability of the parents, the warmth in their home, the size of their home and many other requirements I obviously don’t know. The adopting parents on the other hand prefer a healthy child with good genes, ectera ectera. The not-so-perfect children are left in the orphanage homes. If no one comes forward to adopt them, they are left feeling like rejects.

This makes me smile. All these are skipped in biological process of becoming a parent. The parents play zero role in the genetic combination of a child. Most often than not, having a child is not even a decision that is reached. A woman wakes up one morning and discovers that she has a little one on the way. Nature considers nothing. No one asks if you have a steady job or if you have a sizable home, or you and your spouse live in harmony. A baby just comes along.

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Nobody knows if they are going to have a healthy baby, a pretty baby, an intelligent baby, a disabled baby. No selection whatsoever is made. Unlike in adoption where people bask in the illusion of selection and choice of a preferred (kind) of baby.

That got me thinking. One, if there is life before life and life after death, I wonder what “life before life must be like”. It must be such a horror as children continue to make it into this world despite all the chaos in it; the famine, terrorism, natural disasters, disease, poverty, wars, etc. None of these mitigate the influx of babies. Maybe it may mitigate their survival, but not their “influx”. Babies continue to be born regardless of the quality and condition of life they may live in.

Maybe life is too precious that in any station one is born into, it’s still a privilege to exist and to live. It must be so given that we are “willing” (remember the a-million-and-one spermatozoa rushing to fertilize just one egg) to come (be born) and unwilling to go(die).

Secondly, it gave me a better appreciation of life. Maybe there really is no perfect child. They all are master piece. And they all are worth having. This is proven better in birth children who their parents never chose, and they never saw before they began to love them immeasurably. That is why “monkey no fine but em Mama like am”, because however he is, he is still worth more than gold. Or are those who are born the finest in the “adoption” home who are good enough to be born into the world? Whether or not this is the case, it still emphasises how precious and worthy each and everyone of us is. Every child(well, I know it’s not every child though given that some are dropped in latrines and left to die) is welcomed into the world by the waiting and loving arms of a family that would feed, console, cheer, shelter, cloth, groom, protect and love him or her and are ready to share all they have.

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What can beat that?

At birth, we were not “pre-selected”, we were not “pre-chosen”, our potentials were unknown, yet we were accepted wholly and loved unconditionally. Even at the gallows, there are still weeping mother and relatives whose compassion runs deep for the fellow about to be hanged.

This makes it easier for me to understand the love of God for us. Not that his love for us is easy to understand, but this insight gives some wrap around it.

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